Some Things In Church Are Funny

April 27th, 2009

Hey, just because I eat, sleep and breathe marketing doesn’t mean I don’t like to laugh.

Enjoy!!

These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced during church services:
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on Water.’
The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Ladies, bring your husbands and children.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you..
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Don’t let worry kill you off - let your Church help!
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Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I Will Not Pass This Way Again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Lovely trumpet music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the rectory’s basement on Friday afternoon. Come to the auction and take home your favorites.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket, some wine, and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies’ Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement this Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to view this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!’

Let me know the one you liked the best!!

Motivating Yourself

April 22nd, 2009

I like things that move me into becoming better.

Some sayings can be a bit corny while others are profound.

It may be both or neither depending on what is going on in our lives.

Anyway, read thru these and see if you can use a few

to help you along life’s journey!

Here they are!

Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines practiced everyday!

Failure is simply a few errors in judgment repeated over and over

Don’t wish it were “easier” wish you were ‘better”

Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments!

Time is more valuable than money, you can have more money but not more time!

For every disciplined effort there is a multiple reward!

Formal education will make you a living, self education will make you a fortune!

How long should you try ………..”Until”

Ideas can be life changing sometimes all you need to open the door is “one more idea”

For things to change I had to change!

For things to get better I had to get better!

Success is measured in inches not in yards, just a little bit every day!

Be consistent and persistent, no matter what!

Up Front Contracts

April 8th, 2009

A friend of mine just called [3 times so far]. He’s extremely successful but has an issue. It seems that a “professional business coach” promised to “help him out” by taking him to a secluded place and for a small fee of just having my friend pay for the room he would help him out and there would be no other costs.

He was going to help him with a business plan and “donate” all his time to help my friend because he wanted to “be a friend”. Very generous!

Until the the very last minute when called my friend and said it would cost another 2000.00. This is just hours before they were going to go. After all, he was giving up some of his time!

This a trained professional that pulled this!

My friend is a generous man in a very real way and also hates confrontation and almost gave in.

But after a few talks about learning how to set healthy boundaries and being able to say no, he was able to
address the issue of an “upfront contract” that the “professional” did not set, yet teaches to others on a regular basis.

What Can You Learn From This?

So many relationships are destroyed by a lack of a clear understanding of what is to happen. Expectations that are unclear.

The “professional” knew better and didn’t do it.

How can we keep these things from happening?

One easy way is to repeat back to the person what you understand the “understanding” to be.

In business it certainly should be put in writing, even with friends.

Communication seems to be so hard for a lot of people but by utilizing this one simple tip with clear upfront contracts of what is being said can reduce misunderstanding’s by as much as 90%

Test it out the next time you think you have an agreement with someone by simply repeating it back to them as you hear it.

Good luck !

Here is a Quote That I like

April 5th, 2009


“100% of the shots you don’t take don’t go in.”
- Wayne Gretzky

What does it mean to you? In your life?

Are you being held back by anything or anyone? Why?

Sometimes it’s FEAR.

Fear of what? What would really happen to you if you tried and it didn’t work out as planned?

You might be surprised to discover that the result would not be a big deal at all

and yet we make it just that in our minds. Crazy!

Anyway, think about if you are taking all the shots you should be taking

and I’ll talk to you later!!

Go ahead now and swing for the fences or the net or

whatever is in front of you….

RIGHT NOW!!

Press Releases

April 1st, 2009

Press Releases are one of the best ways to get traffic and get the word out about what ever you want to tell the world about.

I have used them and have found press releases to be very effective and also low in cost.

Check out Prweb as a source and
go to this link for a 4 page pdf report from a very talented Internet marketer.

http://www.dtalpha.com/prtcl/pressreleasetrafficchecklist.pdf

Let me know if you need any help!

Austin

Limitations

March 2nd, 2009

Recently I heard a great quote about limitations.

“Sometimes you argue for your limitations and you get to keep them”

I liked it because we DO tend to talk about what we CAN’T Do too much.

We argue the point and it gets us nowhere.

Think about it in your life and be totally honest with yourself.

Ok, one more quote for today

“The grass is not greener on the other side,

it’s greener where ever you water it”

Did you like that one?

There are alot of ways to say it

but it comes down to you get what you pay for,

you earn what you put into it.

You get the point.

Do what you can and the rest will take care of itself.

You can’t control what other people do but you are in charge of you

What are you gonna do today to make your life and others better?

Free Marketing Tutorial Video From The $50 Million Dollar Man!

October 21st, 2008

Chances are you know this man. He has been a great success for many years on the internet.

Do you love to learn? I mean, really learn exciting ways to use the internet to grow your business or build an income by watching marketing tutorial videos.

This 1st marketing video is just 5 minutes and it’s free!!!

Watch this now!

Are You “Out Of Order”?

October 18th, 2008

As a small business consultant, I have worked with hundreds of good people who really struggle with getting things done.

Most of them are always busy doing things that are important and maybe not so important.

We have all used “to do lists” and possibly been to seminars teaching us time management skills and other effective tricks.
For the small business owner in particular, everything seems like it needs done today and even if you get a good bit done, was it the best use of our time?

When it comes to getting your business on the internet, your website has many components. You have design your site or choose a designer, you need good copy, pictures taken of products and uploaded, you need autoresponders if you want to have an automatic ongoing relationship with those who visit your site and you need someone concentrating on traffic, getting prospects to your site.
And that’s not everything but you get the point.

Here is what I discovered.

Most good things in life are simple and this no different. We have been told in many ways that we can’t do two things well at the same time. Some people would argue with that claiming to multi-taskers and there are some things you can do at the same time but when it comes to important elements of you business, doing one thing at a time is the best way to go.

So, here is what to do.

Pick the very first thing that is needed get the job done. In other words, stay in the order that is needed to move to the immediate next step. Even if you like doing another step more or it is easier, resist the urge to jump ahead.
Sounds simple and it is when you put the order down on paper but sticking with it is where you will have to have the discipline.
Every time you are working on something, ask yourself if you are working out of order or in order.
It’s not a secret and it’s not new but it is common sense when you think about it. You can do it, I know you can and watch your projects get done it record time!

I look forward to hearing about your success.

Local Search Marketing & Advertising

October 17th, 2008

A Beginner’s Guide to
Local Search Marketing

I don’t know about you, but I haven’t used a phonebook in over two years. I feel a slight twinge of guilt when the new one shows up on my doorstep, because I know it’s making a short trip from my front porch to the recycling bin. I started performing my searches for local goods and services online ages ago, and I haven’t looked back since.

It seems I’m not the only one. Recent studies indicate that print Yellow Pages will be all but defunct in the next four years. The myriad of local business information available on the Internet and the bevy of options you can use to find that information have made it easier, faster, and more convenient than flipping through that bulky yellow book.

What does this mean to you as a local business owner? Well, if you haven’t taken the time to list your business online, your competitors may be leaving you in the dust.

Whether you run a restaurant, auto body shop, pet grooming service, or landscaping company, taking the steps below to position your business in front of local customers will make a big difference to your bottom line.

The Anatomy of a Local Business Listing
There are certain elements of your online listing that will be similar across the board - in a local search engine, Internet Yellow Pages site, or customer review site. Not just limited to your company name, address, and phone number, online local business listings allow you to display a ton of information about your business - for free! I’m always amazed when I see bare bones listings that aren’t taking full advantage of this opportunity for free advertising, but it happens fairly often. Below is just a sample of the information you are usually allowed to display:

Company Name
Address
Phone Number
Fax Number
URL
E-Mail Address
Short Description of Business
Services, Products, and Brands Offered
Specialties and Amenities
Payment Options
Hours of Operation
Logo
Photos
User Reviews
Wow!

Right about now you might be saying, “But my local business listing only has my name, address, and phone number. What do I do? “The more information you can include with your listing, the more likely it is that you’ll attract a targeted customer. So let me show you the sites you need to visit to include more information.

Internet Yellow Pages
The most logical places for many people to start looking for local goods and services are the Internet Yellow Pages sites. If you are brand-new to updating and optimizing your company’s local listings, begin with these.

Just like the print Yellow Pages, the Internet Yellow Pages will automatically have a basic listing for your company. (It’s up to you to make the listing pop and really work to drive customers from their computer screens to your storefront.) And in addition to your free listing, many Internet Yellow Pages sites offer advertising and fee-based enhanced feature options.

Some of the most popular Internet Yellow Pages sites for you to start with are:

YellowPages.com
SuperPages.com
YellowBook.com
Local.com
Upon locating your listing, you may be surprised to find that it contains information that you didn’t provide. This is because customers, too, are allowed to update and add to the listings - all the more reason to take action to make sure your information is correct.

Local Search Engines
It didn’t take long for the major search engines to get in on the local scene. Each of them has a local version. Google has Google Maps, Yahoo has Yahoo Local, and Ask has AskCity.

They all have impressive features. But because of my unhealthy obsession with all things Google, and to give you a head start on the most market share, I’ll talk about Google Maps here.

As with the Internet Yellow Pages, your business will likely already have a listing in Google Maps. You can spice up that listing from Google’s Local Business Center. To edit your listing, Google requires you to “claim” your business first. So they send a postcard to the mailing address listed with a special PIN (personal identification number) that you will use. Naturally, this takes a few days. Once claimed, however, you can edit your listing to your heart’s content.

Your local business listing on Google allows for all the information listed above. Google also pulls a lot of user reviews from customer review sites (which I’ll explain in a moment). Additionally, Google offers a couple of really cool features that you simply must take advantage of:

1. Coupons. You can create a special offer coupon right alongside your listing and update it as often as you want. This is a great way to encourage people to visit your store.

2. Video (a feature that has been added fairly recently). That’s right. You can add a video that you’ve posted on YouTube to your Google Maps listing. How cool is that? Think of the possibilities! You could shoot a short commercial, record testimonials from happy customers, or even shoot footage of your clean restaurant teeming with enthusiastic diners.

Once you’ve perfected your listing on Google Maps, you can promote it through Google AdWords and target a particular region, city, or even neighborhood. For more information, and to get started, go to Maps.Google.com or Google.com/local/add.

Customer Review Websites
Customer review sites are arguably the most important of the three local search areas, because the content is user-generated. And, like I mentioned above, Google (and other local search engines) pulls customer reviews from these websites to display on your listing. So it’s important to be aware of what people are saying about your business.

Get a little PR for your business by encouraging your happy customers to post positive reviews of your company and its services. You can also benefit from monitoring any unfavorable reviews about you on these sites to see where you can make improvements.

Popular customer review sites include:

Yelp.com
InsiderPages.com
CitySearch.com
JudysBook.com
There are even specialized customer review sites like AngiesList.com for home improvement and MenuPages.com for restaurants.

A Quick Word About Mobile Search
Mobile search is usually mentioned in tandem with local search. After all, people are usually on the road when they are looking for things like food, gas, lodging, or the nearest pet store. The good news is that if you do the work to enhance your listings on all the sites mentioned in this article, you will be more than covered in the mobile search arena. Most, if not all, of the local search engines and Internet Yellow Pages have special mobile versions that are readable on mobile phones and other handhelds - including the ever-popular iPhone.

So get to work on your listings on Internet Yellow Pages sites, local search engines, and customer review sites. You’ll soon see a big improvement in your business - whether you run a one-person dog walking service or a local pizza franchise. And when delivery of that big, bulky print phonebook finally comes to a grinding halt, your business won’t miss a beat.

Contributed by Alexis Siemon
Guest Contributor
THE TOTAL PACKAGE™

Alexis Siemon is the Search Engine Marketing Specialist for [1] Early to Rise (www.earlytorise.com). Early to Rise is a free, daily, online newsletter full of useful ideas about marketing, business building, investing, natural health, and much more.

What Is The Most Important Part Of Your Website?

October 14th, 2008

Designers think it’s the design.

Accountants think it’s their numbers.

Traffic masters think it’s volume of traffic.

But what really matters is you WORDS

Yep, the copy!!

If you can’t excite the reader nothing really matters.

Let’s Do A Little Test

Here are 3 possible headlines. Quickly pick the one that catches you most.

US Bank offers many convenient services

Become Debt Free Quickly

“Money Secret Exposed That Shows How Homeowners Use Banks Money To Pay Off Private Homes Fast”

Do you see a difference? Even the better of the 3 could be greatly improved upon. They were written in 30 seconds. And you will always need to make sure your copy complies with all regulations.

Practice and work with what is within your personality. The headline should be what you spend most of your time on, then write the rest of the copy.

Shoot for 20 possible headlines then ask around and see which is the winner. It’s fun and is good for your business.

Good luck!!


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